Monday, May 9, 2011

Being the mother my children deserve.

Recently I've been trying much harder to be the mom that my children deserve. I'm not going to lie. It's hard. And it doesn't always go perfectly. But it's absolutely been worth it. A typical morning for us used to consist of going to the gym every morning to 2 hours and sometimes 2 hours in the afternoon in addition to the morning. Me fixing lunch, the kids eating. And then the kids watching TV or playing while I cleaned and did laundry or wasted time doing who knows what. Me making dinner, kids going to bed. That was it. Day in... Day out. Our day looks much different now. We still start the day with the gym, we just go a bit earlier now. Home by 11:30, Then the kids help me prepare a cute fun healthy lunch.Then I help the kids with their chores. Simple stuff, it takes like 10 minutes, but they are learning responsibility and work ethic.  Then we head to the pool. It helps them get energy out and they behave much better. Then we have a bit of rest time where the kids get to watch their hour of TV for the day, Kynzi takes a nap and I take my shower, and then study the scriptures. Then we spend an hour or so together on scripture stories, crafts, the alphabet, counting, puzzles, or reading books. If we have any errands that need run we take care of that, and then we fix dinner together. The kids love measuring rice for the rice cooker, or throwing veggies in the crock pot. Don't get me wrong, Our days are not perfect. But here are the things that I think make a difference in the spirit of our home.
  1. Family breakfast, It doesn't happen every morning, because I'm pregnant and like to sleep in. But when Blake starts school in August it will become a priority.  
  2. Family scriptures. Me with the kids telling them stories in a more animated way, and reading from the scriptures at night as a family. And personal scripture study.
  3. Just spending time with the kids. This wasn't really a priority for me before. Involving them in what I do. 
  4. Family dinner. This is VERY important to us. Sometimes we have dinner at 8pm because we wait for daddy. Doesn't matter. When my kids grow up I want that to be a memory that they cherish.
  5. Family night. Every Monday night, nothing else happens. That is family time, and nothing interferes. The kids take turns preparing simple lessons, we sing, play and enjoy time together. Don't get the wrong idea, It's still chaos... but when they grow up I don't mind if they can't tell me every lesson we ever had, but I do want them to remember that we ALWAYS had it.
  6. Family prayer. Morning and night. 
  7. Fun Family activities. Once a week on daddy's day off. Even if it's just drawing with sidewalk chalk or going to the pool. 
  8. Service. I want my kids to see us serving those in need, and be involved in it. Giving of our substance, time, talents, and everything in which the lord has blessed us with, to the building up of the lords kingdom on earth.  
  9. Going to the Temple. My children will SEE by my actions that I love the temple and have a strong testimony of the blessings that come from that sacred house. I will not let them only hear about the temple, I will show them by my actions. They will see that it is a sacrifice of time, or money or whatever the case is, and that I made the choice to attend the temple. I made it a priority in my life and they will want to as well. 
  10. Never argue in front of your children. Mike and I are not perfect, But I can promise you that my children have never heard their parents degrade one other. Mike has NEVER belittled me, or raised his voice to me. I wish that I could say the same, that I've never raised my voice, But I'm a hot tempered little Mexican, It's happened, poor guy, But I've never spoken ill of his shortcomings to my children or in front of them, and never will.
  11. I never compare my children. To any one, not to each other, and not to another persons child. "why can't you do that like so and so, they do it so well" is one of the most hurtful things you could ever say to your child. Children do things differently, they develop at different paces, one child may have a strength that the other lacks, or vice versa.  But I want my children to be confident in who they are and not grow up comparing themselves to others. Or developing a complex and being insecure and never feeling "good enough." 
Yes, I'm still working to improve every one of the afore mentioned. But in doing so, I'm showing my father in heaven that I am grateful to be a mother, and that I love these children. And showing him that he made the right decision to trust me with them, not because I'm perfect and never lose my temper, or run short on patience... But because I'm trying, and I'm trying my best.


  1. You're doing an amazing job, wish i could say the same.

  2. Oh what a lovely post. I so wish I had the wisdom, strength and commitment that you do, when I was a young mom. I love you dearly.