I must say, I really do think that I have been so blessed to have these sweet little ones in my life. They are so well tempered, good listeners, easy going, laid back and very polite and all around very good children. But they are just that, children, and well lately, at no fault of their own I have found myself frustrated easily. I know that Mike has seen this change and I'm not sure if he did it coincidentally or intentionally, but yesterday I was presented with a small gift in bed. I opened it and to my surprise it was a book. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge reader... But I'm so glad that he found this book. It will change my perspective on the way that I raise my children forever. The title of the book is Mothering With Spiritual Power. By Debra Sansing Woods. Before I share with you a few of my favorite thoughts from the book, It is a religious book and uses references from the Book Of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ. If you'd like a copy of that send me a message or comment and I will provide you with one.
A Few reminders...
3 Nephi 17:21
Remember when Christ took the children and blessed them one by one. and prayed unto the father for them? He truly was the perfect example... our children need one on one attention, I've found that when my children act up, it's usually because they haven't had my attention. Individual, undivided attention, a special moment with me. Pray for them individually and for their individual needs. I'm sure that no one would have criticized Christ had he blessed them collectively as a group, but thats not the way he chose to do it. This same care and attention we should strive for.
2 Nephi 2:25
Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy.
Finding joy in the everyday tasks is challenging for me. For a while I felt like all I did was clean, do laundry, run errands, put kids in time out, and prepare meals. Someone tell me where the joy is in that? There really was none. We have over the past few months re adjusted our schedule. I clean only when the kids are in bed {with the exception of emergency messes} So I'm up at night for an hour or so by myself cleaning, it goes much faster when you don't have children under foot. I do laundry twice a week. Yes, it piles up more than I'd like, but thats okay. Those days are "we go nowhere kinda days" and in between loads we play puzzles, blow bubbles, play glowsticks in the closet, read books and color together. It allows me the other 5 days of the week to spend with them taking them to the pool, the park, on wagon rides, visiting the library, or wandering the mall and getting a sno cone. I have found joy in spending time with them in activities that they find joy in. I assure you they didn't find joy in watching TV while I cleaned all day. And neither did I. My house is still just as clean, and everyone still has clean clothes to wear. It just doesn't take time away from my kids now.
Mosiah 4:15
Ye will teach them to love one another and to serve one another.
How do you truly learn to love someone? You serve them. Recently we had the opportunity to participate in a day of service at our church. I thought it would be a great lesson opportunity for the kids. I knew it was going to be a challenge... it was held on a Saturday morning, this would mean Kyrsten plus all 3 kids... Mike has to work on saturdays, there's no way around it. So we baked cookies that we had signed up for, volunteered our time for a few hours, and each of the kids took a can of food out of the pantry, and grabbed a quarter from their piggy bank, and off we went. Yes, we were an hour late from when we were supposed to be there, but we made it and It was a great teaching tool. I explained to them that their were people who didn't have food to eat and asked them if they remembered a time that their tummies hurt when they were hungry, and told them that that is how some people feel because they don't have food. So Blake eagerly said, well mom, I have a better idea... (famous blake quote) Let's make them some food. I love that I can help, no matter if its cookies, money, or time. I know that they are little but the things they understand are amazing. I also take the time to explain to them when we donate old clothes or toys too, and they are so willing to help. Teach them to be generous with their time and all that the lord has blessed you with, and you will find an increase of love in your family.
Moroni 7:33
And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.
What a wonderful promise. There's no way any of us could be the parents our children deserve without the Lords help. We just have to have faith sufficient and the lord will endow us with power beyond our own. Or in my case, patience beyond my own.
2 Nephi 32:9
2 Nephi 4:35
Prayer... Having a constant prayer in your heart. Sometimes as a mother... or most of the time, it's almost impossible to find quiet, and kneel in prayer during the day. Have one in your heart, he knows it's there, he knows your needs. Pray to consecrate your efforts in each day to the lord.
Mosiah 4:13
Foster an atmosphere of peace and harmony at home.
Um, yes, there's lots of arguments and teasing in our home. It drives me crazy. But the best thing I can tell you is that they feed off of how irritated or patient I am. So usually when I'm in a good mood, they are much more willing to cooperate. And are much more considerate to one another.
Moroni 10:8
Embrace your spiritual gifts.
Seek to know your talents and how to best use them to your children's advantage. I'm a crafty person by nature, and so we do crafts. We sew, we cook, we play with scissors.
2 Nephi 32:2
Speaking with the tongue of Angels
This one has been hard for me. I grew up in a VERY boisterous family, in a big house. We're yellers. And there were a lot of us. If you wanted someones attention, you yelled. My husband grew up with one brother in a tiny house. You could whisper and if the door was closed you could hear through the wall. when we first got married he dreaded going over to my family's, because he always had to take headache medicine before we went over. Since then they've gotten a bit quieter and Mike's become more accustom. I'm still working hard on this one, I am getting much better, but there's many a time I have to catch myself and re-adjust the tone and volume of my voice.
Hopefully one of these can help on a down day or in a moment of anger and frustration. Remember that the spirit of your home is largely what you make it to be.
I had a similar experience starting late last year. My Stepdad got me a book by Maria Covey Cole called ... hm. I can't remember the official name right now! ha! Something to do with inspirations on motherhood.... it was fantastic and there were a few things that really hit me hard. I will let you know the official name, when I'm not too lazy to walk upstairs and look :)
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