I am determined that there are things that I can do to help myself, It's just been a journey trying to find what those things are...
The last few days have been rough for me. I thought that we had crossed the postpartum bridge. However, I don't think we have. I still have days that are rough, But it's rare that they stack up one on top of another. This week has been the exception, rough day after sad day after I don't care and I'm numb day. Hence the lack of blogging. The week has had a few moments of brightness.
Upon reflecting over the past few days, I realized that all of those shining moments had one thing in common. They were the moments that I was serving others.
Now, I've learned that there's a difference from doing something for someone and serving them. For example...
I make dinner for my family because I have to. They will starve if I don't. Most nights I don't want to.
But last night, I wanted to do something for Mike, So I made him a grilled cheese sandwich. I wanted to do something that would make him smile. So at 10:00 at night, I made grilled cheeses for a bed time snack. Do I normally enjoy making grilled cheeses? No. However, those were the first moments of the day that that I wasn't feeling sad, depressed, checked out, whatever you want to call it. For those 5 minutes I was happy. Because I knew that he would be so happy to have that sandwich and it would brighten his day a bit.
The time spent working on things for my brothers eagle project, Those few hours, I was happy. I was happy because I knew that I was making his life easier and helping him accomplish his goal.
And hey, If you stay busy doing things for other people, You don't have time to be sad and depressed right? So, Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to make someone elses' life better.
And A chance to help lighten someones burden, and by doing so, lifting your own.