Thursday, March 8, 2012

What does grilled cheese have to do with anything?

 I think that this is a very taboo subject to talk about, But I know that I am not the only one who faces it, and in sharing my experiences with postpartum depression I hope that I can let someone else know that they aren't alone. I'd bet if you asked 5 mothers if they experienced it, at least 4 of them would say yes. I don't have any reason to be depressed. I have a very blessed life. And I don't want to be this way or feel this way.
I am determined that there are things that I can do to help myself, It's just been a journey trying to find what those things are...

The last few days have been rough for me. I thought that we had crossed the postpartum bridge. However, I don't think we have. I still have days that are rough, But it's rare that they stack up one on top of another. This week has been the exception, rough day after sad day after I don't care and I'm numb day. Hence the lack of blogging. The week has had a few moments of brightness.
Upon reflecting over the past few days, I realized that all of those shining moments had one thing in common. They were the moments that I was serving others.
 Now, I've learned that there's a difference from doing something for someone and serving them. For example...
I make dinner for my family because I have to. They will starve if I don't. Most nights I don't want to.
But last night, I wanted to do something for Mike, So I made him a grilled cheese sandwich. I wanted to do something that would make him smile. So at 10:00 at night, I made grilled cheeses for a bed time snack. Do I normally enjoy making grilled cheeses? No. However, those were the first moments of the day that that I wasn't feeling sad, depressed, checked out, whatever you want to call it. For those 5 minutes I was happy. Because I knew that he would be so happy to have that sandwich and it would brighten his day a bit.

The time spent working on things for my brothers eagle project, Those few hours, I was happy. I was happy because I knew that I was making his life easier and helping him accomplish his goal.

I think No, I know that there is a difference between doing something because you have to, and doing it in the spirit of love, wanting to help someone and make their life better.
And hey, If you stay busy doing things for other people, You don't have time to be sad and depressed right? So, Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to make someone elses' life better.
And A chance to help lighten someones burden, and by doing so, lifting your own.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing this post. I loved it and know exactly what you are talking about. And it is so true....when we are down serving others with a willing heart is the one thing I know has ALWAYS cheered me up. I hope you get through your postpartum can be draining mentally and physically...I know.