Thursday, August 18, 2011

A Mothers Love

So let's start from the beginning. Friday morning I went into the hospital with some cramping and contractions and just feeling like something was different. Not expecting to have a baby, but just to be better safe than sorry. They checked me, and I was 3cm. I walked for an hour, 4cm, then about another hour or 2, 5cm. I was in labor. They admitted me, broke my water, and I got an epidural. Well, minutes later, I told Mike and my mom that it was the best epidural I'd ever had. Well, about 15 minutes later I was completely numb from my neck down. And falling asleep, or passing out, I'm not sure which. The anesthesiologist gave me a spinal (you know, the thing you get when you have a c-section) on accident by putting it in a little too far. The only way to fix it was to take it out, let it wear off completely and then get another one. Well, 2 hours later the epidural had worn off and I was feeling everything. Well, by the time the anesthesiologist came in to put it back in, I was curled up in the bed, in pain, shaking, with tears streaming down my face, and ready to push. Well, bless the anesthesiologist, she tried to give me 2 bolus doses to ease the pain, thinking that I'd be pushing for an hour or so, Well, my babies come very very fast, So 2 pushes later, Baby Brent was born. All Natural... I felt EVERYTHING. And 15 minutes after his birth I was totally numb again. Let me say, I am VERY PRO EPIDURAL. But I will say I'm almost grateful that I got to do it without the relief of the epidural. I have a much greater understanding and gratitude for the atonement of our savior Jesus Christ. I remember in those few minutes of him being born, begging our father in heaven to ease my burden, To grant me the strength, through the power and grace of our saviors infinite atonement, and provide a way that I would be able to accomplish the thing which he had asked of me. I felt his presence, and knew that he had heard my plea. The pain never went away, but peace came. I think that's how the Lord works in our lives. He doesn't always calm the storm, but sometimes calms his child instead. It allows us to grow closer to our Savior and gain a greater testimony that we are God's children, That he knows us. That he hears our prayers, and knows our hearts, and knows our desires. And that even in our darkest hours, he will never abandon us, or leave us alone, but carry us through our burdens.
I love Doctrine and Covenants 98:1-3.
 "1 Verily I say unto you my friends, afear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give bthanks; {Jack Christianson adds in a talk titled "Honoring a Mothers Love", even in your discomfort, sadness and sorrow}
 aWaiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been aafflicted shall work together for your bgood, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord."

It was not my best delivery, Actually to be perfectly honest, It was miserable, and I could never describe the pain associated with child birth. Nobody could. But only through the gift of our savior could only good things come out of such a painful and agonizing experience. They say that you forget the pain of child birth, or everyone would only have one kid. I don't think that's the case. I can remember very vividly the pain and anguish that I experienced but I think that I, along with every other mother, would choose to do again in a second, or even give my life for these sweet children. 

Also in that talk, "Honoring a Mothers Love" {you need this talk} ...

"Now, sisters, why are you a symbol of Christ? As Jesus shed His blood, to give spiritual life and eternal life, what then is the role of those who have the opportunity to be mothers? They shed their very life’s blood to give physical, mortal life. And so the birth process—how we all enter this world—is literally a symbol of being born again, a symbol of the Son of God shedding His blood. In fact, Elder Matthew Cowley, a former member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said this,
You sisters belong to the great sorority of saviorhood. You may not hold the priesthood. Men are different, men have to have something given to them to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. You are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls. You are the co-creators with God of his children.
Therefore, it is expected of you by a right divine that you be the saviors and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children here upon the earth (Matthew Cowley Speaks, 1976, 109).
Can you fathom the marvelous gift that has been bestowed upon us, and the great privilege it is to bear children? As women we are literally the saviors of human souls. Doing the most selfless act that could ever be performed aside from the giving of the saviors own life on our behalf.  Being a co creator with God. Performing a service that no one could ever do for themselves. What A marvelous opportunity to receive blessings is ours. I am so thankful to the Lord for blessing me with these sweet babies. And so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother.


  1. I love this. All of it. Absolutely -- I can never do anything greater than co-create, bear, deliver, and raise children, HF's little spirits. Even if I never get to push one out hardcore like you! ;)