You know how they say baby number 3 is usually the straw that breaks the camels back? They lied, 3 is easy, piece of cake, walk in the park... 4 is not. Or at least not when they are all 4 years old and under.
We've been slowly trying to adjust to life with a newborn. So, I'm taking a little break from my blog for the next week or so until we can get adjusted and into a routine again. Let me first say, he's super adorable. However, having a new born is not my favorite thing. You don't forget the pain of child birth, however, you do forget how miserable these first few weeks are. These last few nights have cemented in my brain that we are DONE having babies. No more. The Hicks will stay a family of 6. I happen to be one of the lucky ones who suffers pretty severely from postpartum depression. It's gotten worse with every kid. Normally I can control my depression with exercise, however considering I can't do that for at least another week or 2, {No, I never wait 6 weeks.} I'm dealing with it the best I can and trying to enjoy and laugh and cuddle with the 3 older ones, While Brent sleeps.
I may also be a bit vain, {Think what you will} But I can't stand not being in shape. I feel disgusting, and I'm sure that adds to the depression. I can't get this weight off fast enough. And If one more person tells me "Not to worry about it" I may go crazy. And if one more person says "You are so lucky you get skinny so fast after having babies" I may punch them. I'm not lucky, I eat egg whites, chicken breasts, and vegetables. There's no luck involved. {There, I said it, And I feel good about it. Like I've said before, you don't like it, Don't read it.}
Blake started school this week too, So trying to adjust to that scheduel in addition has been challenging. And my sister goes home Sunday. Not to mention the sleep deprivation. So, I get to jump into all of this all at once. I'm a bit overwhelmed to say the least. I'm not worried once I can get back into a routine, but until then I just have to disappear for a while. So, I'll be back in a few weeks.
No, not all days are bad, actually most days are really good. There's just a few moments in the day that make me question my sanity. I really do love love love my life, my babies and sweet buby, But the hormones are crazy!
Let me know if you need anything. Hope things look up, soon!
ReplyDeleteMy offer still stands -- call me when the crazies happen. There may not be anything I can DO to make it better, but, I can at least listen and relate. And be that annoying person that assures you the depression will pass, although, I know not soon enough. :( Saying an extra prayer for ya. <3
ReplyDeleteNo matter what, I will always drop everything for you! I love you and I'm here for you. And yes, Jesus loves you too! Postpartum crazies and all. You are strong, beautiful, amazing, and yes, just a little crazy, but that helps the rest of us feel a little bit more normal.
ReplyDelete