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So, I'll be honest, I feel like I'm just starting to get the hang of being a mommy to 4 kids ages 4 and under. I've been feeling super overwhelmed the last few weeks. It doesn't help that Brent has been our most "needy" child. He has to be held constantly, or he screams, and he doesn't just scream himself to sleep, he just keeps screaming until you pick him up. Thank heavens, He has gotten much better the last few days. He's also a typical newborn and is up every 3 hours at night. We're working on that.
Postpartum depression is a beast, and it gets worse after every pregnancy. It's been rough, And it took me a long time to get attached to him. But it's getting better. Much better. {Who's idea was it that on top of sacrificing your body, Suffering for 9 months, You have to have depression on top of that. Clearly God is a man.}

I haven't made dinner 2 nights in a row since he's been born. Laundry is a bear, But It's usually clean and caught up. However, I have learned that I just can't do it all right now. I got some help with the deep cleaning. I can keep things picked up, and tidy, But I just don't have time to dust, bleach the showers, and clean the base boards. I will find somewhere else to cut the budget. It was either that or I was going to go off the deep end. I HATE a dirty house, I can't function, it consumes me. And I will say it has helped take the feeling of being overwhelmed way down.
NICU bills are... I don't even have a word for them. However, I'm grateful for the care that he was provided, I'm grateful to be able to pay them, I'm grateful for health insurance, And I'm grateful that it's the last time we will have to pay them. And hey, That's just one more thing we can claim on our taxes. And just as a little tip, If you have medical bills and are able to pay them in full, ask for a discount if you pay the balance at once instead of getting on a payment plan, You can usually get a 20-30% discount. If you can afford it, It will save you in some cases thousands of dollars in the long run.
Well, Long story short, 4 kids has been rough on me, I admire anyone who has more. And if you're contemplating having 4 kids in 4 years, think about it LONG and HARD.
There are lots of pros, I'm done being pregnant. I will be a very young mom and grandma. All of my kids will be out of the house by the time I am 42...Oh the possibilities, Missions, travel, hobbies, All while I have the money to do it! My kids will all be at the same stages in life. I love that they are close and play together so well. And I'm grateful I got them all. I have some health issues and don't know that if we had waited that I physically could have carried them all.
There are also some cons... I'm momentarily giving up some freedoms that my friends with only one or two kids have. Or friends that have some kids in school and only one baby at home during the day. Shopping trips are hard. My kids are very well behaved and listen very well, But there are 4 of them and there are no shopping carts that hold 4 kids and still have room for groceries. There are 6 people to make messes and I don't have any kids that are big enough to really help. I mean they can pick up toys, but they can't do a load of dishes, or fold the laundry, or scrub the bathroom. Its hard.
I'm not looking for pity, I chose this. And I love it. And in the long run, It will make things much easier that they are all so close together. And I do put a lot of the pressure on myself, But it's good. Life is really good. It's fun, I love the chaos, And I love them. I love doing crafts with them, I love teaching them, I love holding them, I love being a mommy. They are the things that matter most. That's why I was put on this earth. To be the Mommy to these 4 precious children that God has so generously entrusted to my care. Yes, It's hard. But I can do it. Philippians 4:13